Old Gregg Saves the Day
by RoxxiSanders
Summary: Old Gregg wants Howard back and sees the perfect opportunity but maybe, just maybe, this time thing’s will work out a little differently for our favourite sea transsexual.


**DISCLAIMER: **I own nothing, not even this story as my darling mum wrote it and said I could post it up here. All rights to characters belong to Noelio and Julian so please don't sue and the story belongs to my mum, Elaine.

**SUMMARY:** Old Gregg wants Howard back and sees the perfect opportunity but maybe, just maybe, this time thing's will work out a little differently for our favourite sea transsexual.

**A/N: **This was written for a competition which my sister made up for me, a couple of friends and my mum. My mum didn't think this was very good so I offered to post it on here for her and see what people think. She's never written a Boosh fic either before and I though this was really cute and sweet and stuff so…please review at the end and let us know what you think.

Old Gregg Saves the Day

Sitting in his cave nursing a large Baileys, Old Gregg was pondering what to do with his life. He was fed up, being stuck in this cave with only the odd, unlucky fisherman to pester. Wandering over to the mirror, he stared at his reflection and sighed sadly. "You're getting old Gregg." He ran his webbed fingers through his seaweed, smiling as a plan formulated in his head. Straightening his tutu, he headed for the door; today he was going to do something different. Today he was going to do something special. Today he was going to find Howard.

He's met Howard T. J. Moon a few weeks earlier on Black Lake and for Old Gregg; it was love at first sight. As soon as that hook stuck in his head and his, bright blue eyes met Howard's beady, brown ones, he was certain that he had found his soul mate. Things had gone horribly wrong however; Howard had promised to marry him…to make him happy but instead he had run away with the Funk and left him heartbroken. He missed him so much, his wonky moustache and out of date fashion sense had been what had made him so appealing and he missed it all. He had been lured away, tricked into getting into a submarine with a girly looking guy, a midget genie and a talking gorilla…he had never forgiven them for that; for stealing away _his_ Howard. Gregg knew that he had to find him…he needed to, he wanted to and he was certain that with enough effort, he could find the Northerner and bring him back.

He already knew where to find Howard. Since stealing the Funk, he had become a world famous Jazz musician and although Gregg was somewhat proud of him, he wished that instead he had chosen to become famous with him; wished that he had kept his promise of marriage. Tonight there was a show at the Royal Albert Hall and Howard was the main attraction so all Gregg had to do was make it to the concert. It was rumoured that Prince Charles was going to be there and he secretly smiled at the thought of being in the same room as royalty although, as long as Howard was there, he didn't much care who else was attending. On his way to the hall, he picked up a copy of Jazz Weekly and was shocked when he found Howard's face staring up at him, his eyes begging Gregg to find him and save him from his lonely life as a jazz star.

Suddenly he had a thought; he had no ticket…how the hell was he going to get in? With his green, seaweed hair and vibrant pink tutu, he stuck out like a sore thumb but he had an idea. He was half man, half fish; he could slither through the toilet window and nobody would ever know he had no ticket.

When he got there, the huge crowds were cheering and waving as Howard took to the stage. Old Gregg's breath caught as he picked up his jazz bass and ran off a resounding riff. From his vantage point, at the back of the hall, he could see Howard but Gregg knew that there was no way Howard could catch sight of him. The crowd were going wild as he stood and gave it all he had. The spotlight shone down on him, illuminating his dodgy moustache and revealing a loud, Hawaiian style shirt…Gregg though that he had never seen anything as beautiful as the figure on stage.

Suddenly there was a loud pop and a power cut plunged the entire hall into pitch darkness. Old Gregg was beside himself, this was Howard's big break and Gregg would have to impress him if he wanted him to come back. As quick as a flash of lightning, he vaulted up into the lighting gallery and positioned himself directly in front of the stage before raising his tutu. A dazzling beam of light flooded the stage, bathing his hero in a fluorescent glow. Howard looked up and blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the sudden brightness. Once he realised what was going on it became clear to Howard that wherever he went, however far, he would find him. Gregg would track him down as always and save him from being a loser like before. Suddenly being stalked by a sea transvestite didn't seem so bad anymore and Howard realised that Gregg had always been trying to look after him in his own, special, slightly strange way. He smiled widely and offered a smile and small wink to Gregg whose heart nearly stopped before he found himself smiling back.

Howard played on as the crowd continued to go wild, screaming his name, clapping just for him and from the back of the hall, a familiar voice…the voice of an old friend…cried out, "I'm Old Greeeeeeeeg!"

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**A/N: **Please review and let us both know what you think. Thanks for reading.


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